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By Fred Treuhaft  |  Aug 05, 2013

No, not the car association.   This one has to to do with the process of change.  Now I have not tested this against any studies by Harvard, pyscho-therapists, or esteemed business consultants.  This is my simple 1-2-3 to understanding the process and communications needed to change.   The three steps are:




This formula had its foundation from the feedback that over the years I received by my many friends, family and co-workers.   “Fred, you should do this” or “Fred, you should do that”.
  Sometimes with even more emphasis, “Fred, you REALLY should do this or that!”.   Notice that all of this feedback goes right to step 3, the action step.

Now I have recognized that perhaps there were and are some things I should change, but, my acceptance of this feedback was pretty much non-existent.   “What do these people know?”  “They don’t understand!”  By starting with action mode, the probabilities are greatly reduced.

Let’s  restate the feedback.   “Fred, were you aware that when you did this, I got frustrated?”   No, I probably didn’t realize that.   Being aware, then allowed me to acknowledge.   I really didn’t want to frustrate someone.   Given that I am now aware and I recognized that I didn’t want that impact, it was much easier for me to change.   By the way, I can’t ever recall frustrating anyone.   Well, not when I was sleeping.  OK, not when I was sleeping and no one was around.

I could give countless examples of how this assists in communicating change, but, instead, how about you send me some?

What People Are Saying

I'd split this into two:

1. If someone gives you advice, treasure that -don't worry about how blunt it is and whether it's an awareness or action comment.

2. If you're giving advice, think about how the recipient best receives it. Will she want an awareness comment or does she want a straight action comment?

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